I hate you and your ptosisface!

It's funny. A week, maybe two ago, there was an article about ptosis of the breasts in the oh-so-misogynistic "women's section" of one of the newspapers here (I can't remember whether it was El Nuevo Diario or La Prensa, so I'm having a hard time finding it, but if I do, it'll be posted, never fear).

It was kind of confusing. You see, I was under the impression that women's breasts sagged naturally with age, and that was, you know, natural. Apparently I've got it all wrong. It's a DISEASE, and we must take DRASTIC MEASURES to prevent its life-threatening consequences, such as, um...un-perky breasts, and...non-perky breasts.

Yeah, so, you should have invasive breast surgery before anything like THAT happens! I mean, "saggy" breasts are a health hazard, folks. Yep.

In the article, it mentioned the usual medieval delights, like breast lifts and breast reduction with implants, but recently, I became aware of another charming procedure to treat this "condition". It's literally, a bra inside your chest.

The mind boggles. Hoyden About Town does a better job of dissecting it than I do. But basically, FUUUUUUUUUCK!?!?@>@>!>$

Ok, breasts will sag. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, that is what they are supposed to do. Also, the immense majority of breasts are NOT, even when their owners are young; globular and gravity-defying, though I'm sure all the lad's mags and the plastic surgery industry would have us believe otherwise.

I am so, so sick of being told that my body is abnormal. You'd think my breasts had committed terrible crimes against mankind for the kind of comments I get about them; from the "WOW, are they real?!" to the snarky "oh, but it was a joke" to the ones that spend hours trying to tell me how much better I'd look after a reduction, to the ones that can't seem to let five minutes go by without commenting on their size.

Yeah, sorry, but no.

Fuck this shit. I don't need a reduction. I don't want a reduction. And I sure as hell ain't getting one to make everyone else more comfortable around me and my EVIL EVIL CHEST. Which by the way, I plan to keep intact even when it's struck down by the terrible affliction of ZOMG PTOSIS. Because as much as I can go on about mind over matter, my body has everything to do with myself, if one can say that without sounding lightly ridiculous. And this is how I look. And it's not a disease. It doesn't need surgery.

There is nothing wrong with my body.

I'm not changing it.

Deal with it.

The chat logs, part the first

Composite Creature: I hate cabaret bellydancers sometimes.

Glow: Aha?

Composite Creature: Yeah. They're all OMG LOOK AT ME I'M A PRETTY WIGGLY SEXBOT! I HAVE BOOOOOBS!

Glow: Sexbot? These boots are made for walking...

Composite Creature: One of these days these boots are gonna STOMP ALL OVER YOUUUU! [channeling Megadeth, circa 1985]

Glow: Actually these boots live a sedentary life. They like it under my desktop.

Composite Creature: My boots are for kicking patriarchal ass in the feminist revolution.

Glow: lol

Composite Creature: So yeah, they live under my computer.

Glow: LOL

Body image survey

From Christi Nielsen. Who rules.


Name: Composite Creature

Age: 17

Height: 5'0"

Weight: 170

Do you consider yourself attractive? Sometimes

Do others consider you attractive? A few people.

What is your biggest insecurity and why? My arms and chin: I can deal with big legs, hips, butt, breasts (and find them attractive, actually), but I think fat arms look really bad. I also hate double chins. I think it doesn't look like me. I also have issues with my large breasts.

Have you/Would you consider using plastic surgery? Why or why not? I have considered it. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did it.

What is your relationship with make-up? I love it. Patriarchy be damned, it's fun; but I can and do live without it a lot.

How much money do you/think is reasonable to spend on your appearance? As little as possible.

What is your experience of dieting? I had a terribly warped body image as a child. It never struck me as how warped it was until I saw a picture of myself when I was a kid a few months ago: I remember that day, panicking about my huge stomach and thighs. I remember seeing my fat and being disgusted.

I looked at the picture recently, and nothing matched up. I saw a perfectly healthy nine-year-old. Not even close to fat. Stress eating balooned me up to where I am now, a good 40 or 50 pounds overweight ( a lot of it is muscle-I'm fucking hardcore, I am).

Have you/ anyone you know tried any specific diet programs i.e. Lighter Life? How did that affect your health? your moods? your relationships? I tried a metabolic thingy a while ago. I dropped weight very quickly, but also muscle mass. I was unhappy and stressed out, which led me to break my diet.

Do you have any experiences of eating disorders i.e. either yourself or someone you know? My warped body image. A dear childhood friend was anorexic and vomited a lot.

How did other people react to this; what was the fallout? Most people told her how great she looked. Her mother tried to make her eat, but she worked a lot and couldn't monitor her too closely. When she lived with me, I would try to make sure she ate healthily, but since I've lost touch with her, I hear she's relapsed.

Have you had negative experiences relating to your appearance and people’s reactions to it? Of course. I've had every single fat insult/fat joke thrown my way, from people I don't know to my immediate family, and everyone in between. I've been turned down from jobs where I was the better qualified candidate because they were looking for "stage presence" (singer's code for "you're good, but no one wants to look at you"). Nearly every store I go to will not stock my size in pants or shirts even though it's not even plus size.

What about positive reactions to your body? I have recieved "positive" comments, which are pretty much just people who find different body parts of mine fuck-worthy. Few have been really positive, but yes, several aesthete friends have complimented my body and proportions.

How has your body image and attitude changed over the years? I can't really stop caring, but I'm close. That's a good thing. I eat healthy and work out when I can, but I refuse to starve myself or sacrifice precious reading/writing/listening/fun time to working out when I have other things to do.

What do you love about your body? That it does what I need it to do, and looks pretty to me sometimes. I like my waist a lot.

What is your opinion on the media portrayal of women’s bodies? This would be too long. Way too long, so: it's fucked.

What would you change about the way you/ your friends/ your family/ general people see their bodies? I'd like them to throw traditional ideas about beauty into the metaphysical trash can, where they belong. Beauty can be big or small. Thick-waisted, wide-footed, hairy, shriveled, anything. Physical "beauty" doesn't mean anything.

What makes you feel beautiful? I'm ashamed to admit this, but when people I know call me beautiful. I can't really get over that.

Do you shave legs/pits/upper lip moustache? Yes, legs and pits. I hate it, but I still bend to that particular beauty standard against my will. Maybe someday I'll be brave enough not to.