Tales of male fuckbaggery, parts I and II

Saturday's field investigations led to the shocking conclusions:

1. Patriarchy is still the foundation of our society
   
2. It sucks to be a woman in said society
   

To make a short story long, it began last week. My friend Glow, the child-prodigy photographer extraordinaire and I, decided to meet up and get all artsy together. The plan was to for me to slap on some draggish makeup, and flit around downtown Managua playing good photographer/crappy model. FUN.

The first location (namely, in front of a white wall in my house) was a bit limited. "Egads", said I "A park would present a world of backdropsical possibilities!" So off we trot to the Parque Japonés.

We got off to a fairly good start, and Glow got one or two really incredible shots until-






these pieces of shit started harrassing us. I believe they began to whistle, make kiss-y noises, and holler something about the effect of Glow's dress, or my top, or whatthefuckever. Being a dedicated, if mediocre model, I tried to avoid breaking concentration; hence my simple, but elegant response: I gave them the finger.

Bad idea.

The shouting became incessant. They started approaching us. We started to get very, very nervous. Now, I'm not so much a delicate flower as a holy terror in a mosh pit. But you can't overlook the fact we're still two 5' 0" teenagers with a backpack full of clothes, and they're grown-ass male fuckbags with a whole pack of grown-ass fuckbags behind them. This is the point where it's generally advisable to run.

Not today. Glow stood up and began screaming, along the lines of "WHY ARE YOU SEXUALLY HARRASSING ME?! I COULD BE YOUR DAUGHTER! WHY ARE YOU SEXUALLY HARRASSING ME?! WHY?! WE'RE JUST TRYING TO TAKE PICTURES! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!" Not to be outdone, I felt the need to add "WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE US ALONE?! THIS IS A PUBLIC PLACE! WE'RE MINORS! STOP SEXUALLY HARRASSING US!"

Well, that sort of did the trick. They turned and ran to the other basketball court, though not fast enough to escape Glow's lens. But best of all, not twenty seconds afterwards, two security guards came running up to us. After explaining the situation (much to their credit, they didn't scoff or dismiss verbal assault as a waste of time, like some policemen I know), they told us to be careful, and that they would be sitting nearby now, even if they couldn't kick them out of the park (why not, I still don't know). But by then we were too weirded out and scared to stay any longer. We thanked them and left.

But since male privilege does not pertain exclusively to gang-y fuckbags in parks, as a few blocks away, we were verbally assaulted by another pair of cockmonglers.






This time I walked close enough for them to hear me and asked why felt the need to say those things to us. Being cockmonglers of the weaselly breed, their Cockweasel-in-Chief came up with some smirky story of mistaking me for their niece.

Riiight.

So, that's the sad story of two girls who had the audacity of being young, female, and pedestrians, but more importantly, young female pedestrians with NO MALE CHAPERONE! The horror! They were asking for it!

Hmmm. At least we got some great pics out of it. Props to Glow, whose deviantart boasts some of the more succesful shots from the first two locations, and to the two security guards at the park: authority figures who deserve that responsibility. And as Glow said, "I bet those fucks have never been questioned by a girl in drag queen lashes before."